Things You'll Never Hear DBZ Characters Say

Gohan: "You guys never listen to me! You're the worst parents ever!"
Gohan: "Yesterday I smoked pot."
Gohan: "Leave me alone, I'm spanking the dolphin!"
Gohan: "Woodland creatures make me horny."
Gohan: "Mom! Just shut the hell for a second and listen to me!"
Gohan: "Why are almost all of these quotes about sex?"
Gohan"Why does Krillen always have to get his butt kicked so soon in battle-he's a crap fighter
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Goten: "My spider sense is tingling! Did anybody order a web-slinger?"
Goten: "Yes, I'll admit it. I was using our internet connection to download pornography."

Chi-chi: "Goku, I love you for who you are, and you're perfect!"
Chi-chi: "C'mon Goku, let's go do a little 'sparring' together" *wink*
Chi-chi: "Goku, the firmness of your body is truly exciting me."
Chi-chi: "Oh, I've got an idea. Goku, why don't you go battle that villain who blew up half the Earth, and why don't you accompany your father, Gohan."
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Vegita: "This blush really accentuates my cheeckbones."
Vegita: "Wow, with life perspective, this whole 'saiya-jin pride' mumbo-jumbo seems totally pointless."
Vegita: "To make up for all I've done, I'm going to become a charity worker for children's aid."
Vegita: "I really ought to see a barber."
Vegita: "Wow, pulling nosehairs is tremendously painful!"
Vegita: "Oh sure, I may act macho, but *sob* deep down, I'm really sensitive, and I'm hurting."
Vegita: "Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... SHOP!"
Vegita:"Whats the point-fighting haaas become so repetitive"
Vegita:"So whats up G?"
Vegita:"OW!I got a paper cut!"
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Brolly: "Maybe I should lay off the Weight Gainer's 2000 formula."
Brolly: "You know what would be really cool? Imagine what I would look like with red contact lenses!"
Brolly: "They don't call me 'the muscles from Brussels' for nothing."

Krillen: "I am SO sexy."
Krillen: "All my life I've been in Goku's shadow. This is going to end here and now!"
Krillen: "Wow, I never noticed it before, but my head bears an incredibly strong resemblance to a bowling ball!"
Krillen: "If you're looking to talk about the nasty, call 1-900..."
Krillen:"I can beat Goku and Gohan with my hands tied behind my back!"
Krillen:"I have a nose-it's just a special nose that you can't see."

Master Roshi: "Kuririn, please. I'm not interested in lurid pictures of women."
Master Roshi: "No, it's OK Bulma. Put your bra back on and let's talk this through."
Master Roshi: "If you think I'm good looking now, you've gotta see me with my shades on."
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Bulma: "I could drop you like a sac of potatoes!"
Bulma: "Computer? What the hell is a computer?!"
Bulma: "I'm considering going with a more conversative, brunette look."
Bulma:"Looks aren't everything you know."

Piccolo: "For Halloween, I'm going to dress up as myself."
Piccolo: "Sometimes I worry about being emotionally unstable."
Piccolo: *Points towards to women in a quarrel* "Catfight! Mee-oww!" Piccolo: "Damn, Chi-chi is a FOX!"
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Cell: "Fighting sucks. Let's go to the movies."
Cell: "Goku, I swear! You are the living image of my ex!"
Cell: "...for better or for worse. Until death do us part..."
Cell: "You know, I'm beginning to think that green really isn't my color."
Cell:"Has anybody noticed that I strongly resemble a locust?
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Buu: "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner! That is what I'd really like to be..."
Buu: "Just more of me to go around. Just more of me to go around."

Nappa: "Am I cute or what?"
Nappa: "If only I had joined the Hair Club For Men, I could have kept that dashingly handsome look that I had in my earlier days. Start before it's too late!"
Nappa: We should be grateful for everything that God put here on this Earth - The trees, the valleys, the flowers, isn't life grand!
Radditz: "My secret? Well let's just say that every serious fighter starts their day with Cheerios."
Radditz: "It takes a special kind of shampoo to keep my shoulders free of dandruff."
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Captain Ginyuu: "Alright Goku! We'll start on 3. Remember, let's keep this fight fair and square."
Captain Ginyuu: "At first I thought that these horns would prevent me from ever landing a model career, but after I got my headshots at "Andy's Headshots" things rapidly picked up pace!"
Captain Ginyuu:"I don't care what the latest fashions are-leave me alone!"

Kaio-sama: "Do I really sound like that?"
Kaio-sama: "I've been thinking it over, and well, my jokes really aren't cutting it anymore."
Kaio-sama: "Did any of you see Seinfeld last night? Now THAT was funny!"
Kaio-sama: "I'm a fat half-catfish-half-man with a bad sense of humor and ugly sunglasses."
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Freiza: Oh well, I've been beaten, I might as well just walk away.
Freiza:"You're not going to lure me in a fight, I'm not like that anymore."
Freiza:"Who wants orange juice?"
Freiza:"Pink is my favorite colour."
Freiza:"I'm gay."

Yajirobe: "No more food for me, I'm full."
Yajirobe: "Don't hold me back! Let me in there! I want to get into the fight!"
Yajirobe: "The ladies can't resist me!"
Yajirobe: "I could have any chick that I want."
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Chao-zu: I used to be a pokemon.
Chao-zu: I suck as a fighter don't I?
Chao-zu: I'm going to take up a new profession, becoming a mime.
Chao-zu: I used to be a circus act.
Chao-zu: I got cool dress sense.

Tien: The third eye is purely to help my reading skills.
Tien: Shut up Chao-zu, you stupid muppet!
Tien: Man, why can't you go bother someone else Chao-zu? Have you no friends?
Tien: Sorry, can't come out tonight Chao-zu, I'm....er....washing my hair. What do you mean I've got no hair? Get lost you stupid fool!
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Shenron: Piss off. Go bother some other eternal dragon who can grant wishes!
Shenron: Can't a wish-granting dragon get any sleep around here?
Shenron: You know the routine, you make a wish, I grant it, blah de blah, God this is getting so tedious!
Shenron: That Porunga thinks he's so big.......just let me at him!
Shenron: What up my scum sucking friends? Another wish I suppose? Why should I grant you anything? When was the last time you granted me a wish eh? Stupid humans!